now of COVID Meditation

So this image was a rainstorm. And to me, this rainstorm is a storm of tears from the the loss that has happened. And the boat is actually full of the tears. And it was just a very, very stormy sea with this tiny little boat. And the water is being mixed between the water and the blood that is coming in from the start paintings flowing into the now painting. And then from the other side, the water is coming. And this to me, this was my most powerful moment in all of the paintings when I was doing them was I was working on this particular painting down at the right hand lower side, where there’s kind of tendrils or fingers of blue water coming in mixing with the bloody water on the other side. And as I was painting those, I paused and I pulled back for a moment I looked down at the image. And I was overcome with this knowing that I can I can feel it now, I’m getting a little bit emotional about this, like the forces for good are fighting against the pandemic. And in the present, you can see that clash, I’m waving my hands around, nobody can see me right now, you can see the clash between the water in the blood of this backward force that’s pushing kind of from the future into the present pushing the tide of the pandemic back. And I saw that and I I burst into tears. And I cried for several minutes about it. The boat, this is an image that I have done many paintings with. So it’s something that’s strong in my subconscious is this image of the boat in the ocean. I’ve done a number of paintings where for the landscape of the ocean and the interaction with the boat represent the emotions of that moment. So when I saw the image, I was in this tiny little boat and my sense was everybody’s like in their own little boat sheltering in this store of in this giant ocean where this clash is happening. And a boat is a vehicle of moving obviously from one place to another. And so in this case for the the now painting where one is moving from the start to the future, I agonized about the choice of the white flag. That it’s the surrender the world is/has surrendered to the pandemic at this point and is waving its white flag of surrender, which is why it was so moving to have the understanding of the forces that are fighting. It’s not just this that we surrendered and we’re about to be overrun, but these powerful forces are there for good.

– Layla Messner

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